公司官网翻译存在的问题及解决方案（三）

19-10-13 返回列表

　
　　一、结构混乱
　　例文：自1991年成立以来，致力于提升产品品质，塑造高品位、高 层次的企业形象。采用时尚的设计、先进材料、精湛而先进的工艺和完善的管理制度、良好的售后服务，深得海内、外客商依赖。原译：The company has taken up with improving the quality shaping high quality, high administrative levels. Enterprise image. Since if is foundes in 1991 and adopt the fashional design advanced material advanced technics. And perfect management system. Good after service it is trusted deeply by the domestic and aerseas foreign customers.

　　首先应当看到，中文原文本身就存在层次不清之处，“依赖”当推定为“信 赖”。从布局谋篇的视角看，译文从标点符号到遣词造句，从句子结构到文体风 格，几近没有头绪。“时尚的设计”和“先进材料”等平行结构之间，汉语中用 顿号，英语中用逗号，但此处译文错用点号；Enterprise image.竟然独立成句， 事实上，Enterprise也不必大写；词法方面，it写成了 if，aerseas拼错，fashional 也是想当然地造词；在 adopt the fashional design advanced material advanced technics. And perfect management等一大串动宾结构中可以考虑采用谓语并行或 -ing形式，原译却只是简单拼凑了事；Since if is foundes以及Good after service it is trusted deeply by等译法简直毫无章法可言。翻译公司译者建议改译：
　　Since the establishment of our company in the year 1991 we have been committing ourselves to improving the quality of our products for the purpose of building up an enterprise image of high grade and high level. The adoption of fashionable designs, sophisticated materials, super craftsmanship and perfect management system, together with our perfect after-sale service, has enabled us to win the confidence of our customers all over the world.

　　二、时态误用
　　例文：自1998年引进了 ISO 9001 -2000标准版质量管理体系对生产过程进行严格管理以来，取得了很好的效果，产品质量多年来一直保持稳定，得到了国内外广大客户的广泛认可。原译：In order to improve the quality of the products, from 1998, we start to carry out the ISO9001-2000 quality control systems and get good effects. For the effort of us, now the products have been accept world widely. 原译最大的问题在于时态不明，既然是from 1998,那么，在start -处既没 有使用过去时，也没有使用完成时；在have been accept中，accept保持原形， 说明译者对完成时的被动语态根本没有把握。实际上，汉语中的句子要译成英语时，如果能以短语为之，效果可能更好；world widely的错误在于想当然地把 world wide变性使用了，应该考虑到要么选用widely，要么选用worldwide，但 前者为副词用作状语，后者为形容词用作定语。因此，用all overthe world也行。 建议改译：

　　Since the introduction of the IS09001-2000 quality control systems into the strict management of the manufacturing process in the year 1998, satisfactory results、 have been achieved. The quality of our products is always being kept stable and thus our commodities are widely accepted by the clients all over the world.

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